Mothers Intuition

Have you ever had an instinct? An instinct that begins as a gnawing...Then grows into a raging burn; a burning instinct that something is wrong...

Your baby continues to get sick from the very foods he is supposed to thrive on. I did. I am a mom of a little boy just diagnosed with FPIES.

And that burning feeling now? Extinguished. My instincts? Stronger than ever. Guiding me, with my faith, as we navigate through the murky waters of our new world created by something called FPIES.

"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

Saturday, July 31, 2010


Little man can't stop saying it! To us, to his brothers, to friends, to strangers, to doctors, to nurses. The mask has been lifted, even if just briefly, again. Little man has lived so many of his days in pain, that he doesn't waste any time getting down to playing and learning new milestones, and words when he is pain free. He can say "hi","hi-5", "daddy", "momma", "woof", "quack", "neigh", "off", "on", "all done". He can give hi-5, wave bye-bye, clap, ask for his bottle, and he's learning puzzles. He also can walk and run of course! :) It is simply amazing to us that he catches up so fast to these milestones when he has less time to practice (because he has spent so much time in our arms, in pain).

We are very grateful we have pulled him out of his failure to thrive state he was heading down. Many FPIES kiddo's have this somewhere in their days, sometimes before diagnosis when little is understood about what is going on, and sometimes after when the right diet is being identified with food trials and eliminations. We have been running close to the wire for so many months, and we do our best to stay on top of his illness so we can learn more about how it is affecting him.

Little man had a follow up with his pediatrician yesterday (he now weighs in at 20#12oz!!!). The major Children's Hospitals (Mt.Sinai, CHOP, Jewish National) utilize a team approach for following these kiddo's and I am trying to duplicate that here- it makes perfect sense. Pediatrician's are at the center of their care, as they help manage the care of the "team" when so many things come into play- Allergist recommendations, GI work ups, Dietitian follow-ups. It all has to be monitored closely to be sure he stays thriving. I know this is where it would help to be at a place like CHOP (where our Allergist is) but we don't live in or near PA, so we are trying to make the best of what we have here. And what we have here, practically in our backyard, is one of the top leading medical facilities in the country- in the world! The doctors that want to learn about FPIES have been great, and they are really trying to help. Our pediatrician is great, and has been through all of this....but I still feel a disconnect between understanding FPIES and helping Little Man. I wish I could figure out how to get this better connected. The many days, months, and now going on a year of Little man being ill and monitoring and connecting his symptoms, and finding a diagnosis to explain it all, and managing his care, on top of him continuing to be sick, and on top of the other everyday things in life- our other children and their needs, our jobs, our home, all starting to get overwhelming when I also still feel I need to teach everyone about FPIES while trying to connect how it affects Little Man...most especially when he is as ill as he was before being hospitalized. We are trying so hard to find his baseline so we can build his tiny menu. It will be more difficult to do food trials when he is still having blood in stools and waking up screaming at night.

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