Mothers Intuition

Have you ever had an instinct? An instinct that begins as a gnawing...Then grows into a raging burn; a burning instinct that something is wrong...

Your baby continues to get sick from the very foods he is supposed to thrive on. I did. I am a mom of a little boy just diagnosed with FPIES.

And that burning feeling now? Extinguished. My instincts? Stronger than ever. Guiding me, with my faith, as we navigate through the murky waters of our new world created by something called FPIES.

"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

Monday, December 31, 2012

Processing....Perspective on Graces received in 2012

Processing...a coping and learning tool I have learned to utilize and strengthen and allow myself on this journey with my son.   With processing brings perspective.

The past months have been a lot to process, the past years have been a lot to process but from long term TPN last summer-winter, followed by food trials (and fails), followed by a formula challenge, an NG tube, formula adjustments and building intolerance, a G tube, a new formula, an 8th formula fail, intestinal inflammation, an expanding menu, functional medicine practitioner, healing properties of broth, trusting my gut, occupational therapy, speech therapy, a growing and thriving little man in spite of all of his road blocks. It is always a lot to process as we learn on each new step of this journey.

If you're following my blog, or more so- the sequence of Little Man's journey, I am attempting a slew of catch up posts (backdated to keep the entries in order).   My postings slowed down around Feb.8th (yes, almost a year ago!) when little man was admitted to the hospital via the ER because of a fever for a potential line sepsis infection (when he still had a central line for IV nutrition/TPN) that turned out to not be a line infection (thank goodness!!) but instead confirmed FPIES reaction (fever, vomit, elevated platelets and leukocytes and neutrophils-with a left shift).  It was a very rough time for us, as a family- with little man's health and medical care, with needing better treatments from his medical team, seeking new consults and fresh opinions, needing a change of course and not knowing which path to follow.  I prayed. A lot. And, I can't say at what point it happened but a new growth- a new level of faith was graced upon me. God looks out for the birds and the crops- why would He not look out for Little Man?  In whatever path. Whether it be my chosen direction or not. As long as we follow His path, He will show the way.  I know that sounds "preachy" or "religious" (what does religious sound like anyway?) but it isn't meant to me....I can't quite seem to paint my soul - this faith that lies within.  This faith that is only possible through graces -- graces given as gifts, from Above.  Asking for graces allows Him to strengthen faith....not asking for Faith or expecting false can't be given faith- you reach it with His grace.   So much processing, so many perspectives granted. I prayed for graces.  I needed them.

Graces to get through what we were to endure during those long months this spring and summer.  What Little Man was to endure. The grace to stand aside and let God lead (I had to pray hard for that one!).  The months to follow- through the above mentioned circumstances, were very tough. But, I was ready.  God had granted me the graces to get little man,and our family through another very hard time -- and (hopefully) come out stronger (and wiser?)...and on new paths. I will attempt to continue to update this blog, taken from journal entries over the year- in case there are others that would like to follow along our journey.

Strength from graces, shielded by Faith, we look forward to 2013.

1 comment:

  1. Happy new year Joy, looking forward to the updates, Despite everything Sam looks great sitting under the Xmas tree you are one amazing mumma , best wishes from all of us down under and may hoy have a wonderful 2013 . Love Suna, Mitchy and the boys xxxxx